i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
