She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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