I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
