he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
