I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
