idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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