spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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