I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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