I must be too annoying 4 u.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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