My liver just broke up with me...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
