You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize