is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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