i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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