sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
