was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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