He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
