Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Randomize
