Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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