Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I lost the right to judge tonight
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
