im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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