I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize