operation harelip BJ is a go
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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