I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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