Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
