With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
