i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
