not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
