That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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