She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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