Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
