doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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