oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am midnight drunk by noon
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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