ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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