Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
