Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Operation Purity has been aborted
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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