So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize