I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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