He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
