You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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