you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
