it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize