yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
