That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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