girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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