Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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