new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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