...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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