So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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