I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
