worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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