Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
