Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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