I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
