My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
