after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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