so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
