I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
