in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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