Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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