Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
