Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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