I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
