I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
