Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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