No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The beer is more important than you right now.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
